NOSTALGIC ABSENCE

Alarm buzzes, its 4:51, I snoozed the alarm for next 10 minutes and repeated till 5:25. It hit to me that I had to do everything in next 30 minutes or else I’ll be late. Thought of ignoring few calls from friends, but zilch, I hit reality, “no calls”. However, I managed to leave by 6:20, still was running late.

The event was not going to start until 7-7:30 PM, it took me around 2 hours to reach there. I located my friend, made them aware that I am there, met friends from other office’s. However, I was predominately looking for her. You all might be thinking that I just said no friend but don’t I have freedom of having crush on someone. Well to tell you about her, she is the prettiest girl walking this earth, but if asked her, you will hear something like,” whatever”. Small 2 cm*2 cm forehead, 4 cm eyes bulging out, long Eiffel tower like nose and long hair with puff above forehead and little curl at the end tempting you to pull and straighten it. Her smile is as radiant as an angel.

Finally, I spot her on-stage performing with other people, I think they were singing or dancing or making fun of themselves.

After an hour, thought of doing the dumbest thing every guy could do, “no don’t think much just go up and greet her”, said the voice. Then again the voice repeated “go ahead, go greet her, don’t wait up as she isn’t looking out for you or come over to greet you. I trust these voices and decided that I had to be the one to initiate it, then again as I looked up on stage, I can’t believe my eyes, “she wasn’t there”. Maybe the same voice spoke to her saying, “run away, crazy guy is coming over to greet you” and coincidentally she too decided to trust the voice. I was determined what else could I do, to be dumber I thought of looking out for her and in the process I inquired her mom for her whereabouts’. She too had no clue as in where she could be. 

I started a search for her secretly. My cousin found her unconscious, when I saw her unconscious I couldn’t stop myself but I started mourning as it was the end, heart was beating faster than usual, tears were flowing, looking at her not breathing, time froze for me. we all were worried, what could possibly had happened. Her eyes were all misty.

We tried to breathe in her using artificially breathing technique. I was pressurising her heart with 30 pumps a minute and asked her mom to breathe in her through mouth, after 2 attempt we succeeded in getting her back from death.

Rushed her to hospital, we were all there at hospital with her. I had to leave as all her cousins and relatives and friends came in to see her.

Next day I visited her, suddenly at my every step towards her I could hear my heart pounding beating and trying to rip out and be free and my legs they became heavy. Felt like turning back and returning home as all these things were new to me, being an jerk to sudden benevolent felt way to over for me. I didn’t want to see her like this, the joyous girl I knew is hospitalised, made myself strong and I went in, at the first look itself I wailed and don’t know why she was crying. What made her cry but than that was the first time I saw her tears and many question arose. Why? What this meant? Was I too emotional or was she highly sedated and she wasn’t aware what she was doing. I wiped my tears and hers. Inquired, “what happened, how she went from happy go lucky to unconscious?”. She said that people were raging her friend and she couldn’t do anything, rather she cried, asking god, “why couldn’t she help her friend from bad people who were harassing. I was very furious and wanted to know who were this people, but the question was how she became unconscious. She said, “I was wailing the nose problem kicked in and wasn’t able to breathe properly and landed unconscious.

Next few days I was sad sensing her absence as was used to her and she was the source to my happiness.  I heard music “tilllillliiillliinnggggg” “tilllillliiillliinnggggg” “tilllillliiillliinnggggg” “tilllillliiillliinnggggg” that was my alarm again for real and this was all a dream which was not less than a reality, pushed snooze button and wished if I could dream again but something more beautiful like her...

The man who can't be moved

Here is the story about the man who can’t be moved. To tell you where it all started I need to get you all back to your college time, the first day of college after your last day of school. A complete change in your life where you no more had to be anxious about your school home work, or whatever thing related to school you did last 10 years or more. An unsullied start with all new-fangled things around you new friends new way of dressing yourself, making physically looks prettier or handsome.

It was my first day going to college, due to spending a long vacation in my native place. I missed out the cut off lists and all other things that makes you eligible to get into college, had to get spot admission in nearby college. I was running late on my first day of college and when I entered my new college looking the measureless space they had for volley ball (that was the only game they had). Inquired where are the first year junior college student gathered, got the info and left for class no 301. There I saw all seated and the coordinator preaching all the do’s and don’ts, with my courageous voice asked “can I come in, Sir?” the reply for that was you are late on your first day itself and then turning over to the other student, he continued coming late won’t be tolerated. I again interrupted asking “can I come in?” and the reply was, “no, stand out”, had to linger outside the entire seminar and even though if I would have been inside I might have been kicked-out again for sleeping.

The long speech had come to an end and they were assigning student to different divisions and I was outside looking out for my name to be called and that coordinator on purpose skipped my name. Students started to come out and get into their respective class, and I was still waiting outside looking every single student getting into their new class in line, and in midst of that line I see her, and that exact moment I prayed God please make me be in her class. I was following my coordinator asking him which class I have been assigned to, and thank god it was the same class.

To tell about her, she had worn maroon color Punjabi suit fair complex and that beautiful piercing she had bellow her lips was were my concentration was. Days passed by, I was the funniest or the one who disturbs the class according to teachers but student had a great respect for me. I was the famous backbencher. Soon word were around teachers that the only way to stop me was to bring me to first bench and yes I didn’t give up than too ultimately getting kicked from every lecture. Well enough about me let tell you about her and yes many had eye on her and I need to mark my territory so just told my fan followers that I got crush on her and let see what happens and yes I did have competition. There is nothing to tell you about my competitor as he gave up soon, than with certain friend I started to stalk her and after a month and a lot of peer pressure from friends had to make my first move.

I walked up to her, she was with her friend, I was nervous and yes I messed it up instead of saying the normal “HI or hello” I came up with a pathetic pick up line maybe, but the sentence was, “beautiful piercing where’d you get it” and she just walked past me with no answer.

I was upset and was annoyed on my friends who forced me to go talk to her, word of advice never listen to your friends out of the ordinary words when it’s about making your first move. Unfortunately I did listen to them and that led to the aftermath.

The next week I was completely lost thinking of giving up as that no response was a clear sign of letting me know to get a life. After struggling through these facts and still having second thought in giving it one more try, to make this one unending crush and get her to be my girlfriend.

I was always good with humour made it self defence mechanism against every depressing things. One fine day my coordinator walked past my classroom when one of my teachers was lashing out words which were same as what my school teachers used to say, I was used to those words and took it with a big smile and got more to hear for that smile. The coordinator just looked at me said meet me in my office; I passed out for few second and then regained my senses and followed him to his office. The words started to flow and there were words you can’t think a coordinator would speak, apparently every other teacher had logged in complaint against me and it was high time now, he wanted to meet my parent and with all this going around I heard the other part what he really wanted to discuss with my parents. He said that he would be bringing in the parents of that girl I commented who had best earrings (I didn't say earring it was piercing). I again passed out for a minute and wasn't able to use humour knowing that may have led to my suspension. I pleaded and made reasons of my parent not being available this time, said "they had gone to my native place", all I heard to that was okay we can have a meet after they come back and before your final exam otherwise I won’t allow you to attend your exams.

An air of melancholy surrounded me, I thought of ending my unending crush. Yes had to finally call in my parents and since I had this long gap between me bringing in my parents I tried to be the obedient student. He just did talk about my academics and there wasn't a mention of the one with nice earring. I asked him to change my division so that I didn't have to see her any-more. My division was changed but that happened the next year of my junior college.

Now what is this “the man who can’t be moved”, well for starters that’s a popular song by The Script. They were my favourite band because of this song and the video shows that the guy wait for her love no matter what he won’t move from that place where they first met. I was doing my graduation from another college at that time and thought of going back and waiting for her than yes the opposite thoughts of she won’t be coming no matter even if I won’t move from there and even college won’t allow me as I had no ID. Later I found a song “long gone and moved on” by the same band motivated me taking life optimistically and continuing my legacy. To tell you the truth “long gone and moved on” song stated that she’s long gone and moved on even when we weren't in a relationship.

The unending crushes - 1

I asked my friends what exactly is crush, Selva replied "Its the one sided feeling toward one person where there is no reciprocation".
Logesh added to it that in ones lifetime there can be many crushes but only one true love. Akshay was deep in his thoughts and we dindt hear any suggestion from him, as he recently had his 5th break up with Pooja who he thought was the one.
Yes we all were gathered on Akshay's building terrace to cheer him up as we have been through this last 4 times and we had hang of the things we needed to do. We had thums-up to drink and Potta fry to eat with pav, these were the things we normally eat in our weekly hangout.

We were all missing Guddu as he was the good shareef member of our rising guys. He had gone to pursue his further studies in belgaum. As i was asking about crush, myself had one crush earlier but it dindt work the way i dreamed over and over again it was a worst experience of my life.
Girls always break heart added akshay after his long pause,we all knew what he was going through and we noded yes "tu sahi hai bhai", we had no other option either way other than to agree but than came a voice of our lover boy Selva after taking a sip from his thums-up glass, no brother your completely wrong and we all looked at him with a stop ruining the moment look in our eyes.

He explained his prospect on true love as he had succeeded in finding his one for the life time, Ms X who was very supportive and also understanding never came in our boys business. Me and logesh were singles so we had no views on both all we could think of was crushes.
Logesh added yes man i am truly madly deeply in love with divya, his good classmate who was like always behind his back scolding and not giving him a chance to explain his love. His life went on with expectation that were never understood nor were reciprocated well. I always used to tell him that man shes not the one go for someone who respects you. Me i was just passing out my days talking with the Marina who loved someone else truly madly and deeply, i was the middle man in their relationship. Whenever there was problem with her love life i was there for her and as day went by i didnt realized that i was falling for her. i had crush on her since the day we met, but since she had boyfriend i had to suppress my crush waala feeling for her and stay in her friendzone hoping things would change.

This was what we used to do when we weren't together busy with crushes or the one, but when we were together we used to talk about them only.